Hey, i'm back :)
It's been awhile kan. Since the last post. It's been years. 7 years, how fast time flies.
I still miss everything. Everything has changed. I dah berubah, my friends semua dah berubah. I had different circle of friends now. I've grown up.
Here's an update.
I lost a man who never gave up on me. I lost my dad. 7 years ago. I was so devastated as i had so many things to do for him. I still ada banyak benda nak bukti kan kat abah. That i'm no longer little kid. I had job that gives me comfort now. I dah mampu nak pay most of the bills kat rumah ni. But then I realise, i had nothing to prove even he's here. I'm still his little princess who need him to see me from afar, to always asked me, "ya sayang abah tak?" "ya sayang abah banyak mana?" and that question will always lingered in my head. Forever.
He left. He found someone who he called home. With a flower to brighten up his life. I dah move on. Well at least, most of me have moved on. Come on, I'm almost 30 now. I should move on kan. But worry not, we're still friends. In fact i lagi banyak contact dengan dia dari contact dengan so called my happy pills. Berat untuk i teruskan move on because for years kita macam ada some sort of connection (???) he keep coming back kan you pun tahu. When i thought it already done, he came back. Until few years back, he really don't see me more than he used to. And i decided to move on.
Happy pills? Looks like it doesn't existed anymore :)
I ada few circle of friends dah sekarang. I don't depends on one lagi. As i grow up, i sedar that everyone had our own life as well. I dah tak perlu dah nak terasa if they didn't spend time with me lagi. Well, ada la juga terasa but takde lah mcm dulu lagi dah. Dah tua nok. So i fikir baik i kerja je cari duit shopping sendiri.
Oh speaking of kerja. I've changed my jobs. For few times dah. I guess last post haritu is the period of time masa before i resign. But i resign dalam hujung tahun centu. Right after abah pergi. I found that i no longer found happiness in the place i used to be. The environment also looks mcm i have to go. they don't favour me anymore, so angkat jela kaki. I tukar kerja but semua tak tahan more than 3 months. Tak tahu la kenapa. Maybe my passion is dekat that one brand kot. So i masuk balik dekat brand yang sama cuma different company. And it's been almost 4 years now. Alhamdulillah, all is well. This company 1000 times better than before. Benefits, gaji, colleagues, walaupun pernah ada something bad happen and dah buruk kan record i walaupun bukan salah i, but i'll take that as a lesson.
I apply for this kerja without anyone knowing. Sampai la i dah confirm, baru orang tahu. I pilih the new mall, for new environment sebab i dah taknak stuck to the same memories lagi walaupun sama brand but at least tempat lain company lain and colleague lain. That year, i rasa i betul betul berubah. I'm not me anymore. And i'm proud of myself. Sebab i berjaya berubah. The salary wasn't that good but i was happy. It was enough. I'm the happiest. No stress, no gossips, no conflicts. Until covid strikes :)
I was transfered to another branch sebab the other wholesale company want to shut down the shop so the company that i worked for, nak take over to test the market. And that shop is located at my old workplace. The exact shop. As i pun kerja dekat brand yang sama, and my offer letter pun ada stated company berhak nak transfer i to any other branch, so i don't really had a choice. That's when things get worse. The case, that involved my previous colleague, has affected me as well. But takpela i anggap i pun ada salah kat situ, i've learn my lesson then i move on. But bila i balik dekat the old shop, colleague pun berubah, everything flashed back in my head. Its like, i'm stuck. I keep on teringat benda lepas. I rasa mcm susah susah je i cari kerja jauh i lari jauh sebab niat i nak move on. But there she is, tak jadi move on, plus the guy that i used to love, is working on the building as me. How to move on like that? I was so stressed, i didn't love myself enough like i used to masa i dekat environment baru. Until that darn covid strikes for the second wave :)
Years after i kena transfer lagi. haha. paling jauh lah this one. The real one la kalau i nak move on, memang boleh je sesangat. I know no one here, start the new environment, new people, new life i guess? A friend from my past pernah cakap i kerja jauh sekarang jauh sangat merajuk nya. Sampai sekarang i still dekat situ lagi and a part of me dah move on. I dah tak mengenang dulu dulu lagi. Ada la sometimes tu teringat but i dah let them go, so i don't feel anything lagi dah.
Too many things happened. Banyak sangat nak tulis. But I am better now. Do i feel happier? I guess so.
MY life has change so much better now. I dapat balik gaji mcm yg i pernah dapat dulu. In fact, lagi banyak. Bersyukur gila. I also banyak benda dah belajar. I dah tak fikir pasal orang sangat. I tend to brush everything people said about me. I had no time to explain myself dah. Better that way.
Life partner? These 7 years i ada kenal few but friends jela. I fikir baik kerja cari duit shopping sendiri for starbies every week. Until i kenal this one guy. hahahahah don't know why this girl always fall first.
But thats all jela for now. Later i ada masa i share lagi walaupun tak tahu la ada ke tak orang baca benda benda gini lagi these days yg orang semua tengok tiktok je sekarang ni hahah